Cuts and bruises

Publicerad 2016-09-26 18:06:00 i Livet,

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I cut my hand as I was doing the washing up a couple of weeks ago. I was washing a wineglass left from the night before, busy thinking about something else. Maybe exes. Maybe other stuff. Can't actually remember. Anyways, I was thinking about something rather unpleasant and feeling angry and stressed and then all of a sudden the glass just broke. I felt a stinging sensation and looked down. Saw the broken glass, and the cut in my hand. 
I put the glass to the side and then stood a few seconds and did nothing but stare at my hand. Saw the wound go from chocked and still to bloody and red. Felt a surge of adrenaline. Started shaking a bit. And didn't know what to do. So I continued doing the washing up. It took me a minute or two to calm down and get back into my senses. Realised that doing the washing up whilst you're bleeding isn't really a good idea. And by then I was bleeding quite a lot. So I stopped doing the washing up. Fetched some towels. Sat down. 
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It was just such a shock. I was so caught up in other thoughts, busy with my life, that I didn't even think that I might hurt myself doing what I was doing. That maybe you should hold certain things a bit more delicately, and be more aware of how they might hurt when they break. But I didn't. I just felt it breaking. Felt my hands slip. Felt the pain burn. I've later come to think about how poetic it was. How things can break when you don't think too much about what and how you're holding it. How it ends up hurting you without you even noticing it was breaking in the first place. And once it's broken, you have no other option but just to deal with the pain and wait for it to heal. Trust yourself that it's not going to bleed forever.
It's ok now though, I've had enough plasters on it to last a whole company and made sure to keep it clean. And it's healing. I'm usually one of those people that get wounds and scars that stay forever. But for some reason this one is healing quite well. And I suppose clean cuts do heal, even though they bled a lot at first, and they come as a shock and they look awful. I just have to make sure to leave it be, to give it time to heal. It's hard, but it's worth it, because even though they hurt, they do, eventually, heal.


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